My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
