But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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