and she was petting her beer can
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
