Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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