For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let's paint friendship bongs
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize