I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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