Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
