we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
