"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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