you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
