your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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