oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
