I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
