We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
