He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
