I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
