Your tits are I can't wait for
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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