Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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