i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
