What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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