he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
