"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a search helicopter?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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