The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
