I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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