I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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