So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
