You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
