Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
