About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
