Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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