is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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