sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
