just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
