Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
