the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
