if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
