I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
