haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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