It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
