What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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