I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
