His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
