i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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