yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
