You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just had sex bonerless
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
