forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
