Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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