I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
