me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
