I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
