The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The best revenge is premature balding
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have tasted many bathrooms
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
