Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you would pick up someone in the library
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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