apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
