She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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