Sry I called you an 8
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize