I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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