I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry about my life...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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