Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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