what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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